No Love Here: Chapter Ten

Jill's POV

The kiss was short and unexpected. I wasn't sure who actuually initiated it, but his lips were soft and I didn't care about any other factors to our current situation for those few short moments.

He pulled away, eyes wide with the realization of what we had just done. "S, sorry!" he stammered before fleeing.

My own eyes were wide, I was sure. There was a weird feeling fluttering in my chest, a kind of nervous energy that I hadn't felt in a long, long time.

I didn't want to date Chris...

Did I?

Confusion washed over me. Relationships had been ruined for me, half of my brain argued. I had already tried to give my heart away and learnt the hard way to just stop trying, to stop caring. The other half of my brain replied that Chris was better than HE was. Chris wasn't like the last one.

I bit my lip. Chris had taken care of me while I was sick, stayed with me even though the others had gone out to paintball. He had held me because I was cold, and hadn't expected anything in return. Maybe I did want to date him.

No. No dating.

But is was Chris.

I stood and (on much sturdier legs than earlier) I went to get my purse from my room. It had my iPod in it, the one my cousin Mimi had gotten for me. She had gotten it because it had a feature called 'random pinpoint'. Random pinpoint, when selected, would choose a song at random and then start it from anywhere within the song. It had helped me make decisions often. I would choose random pinpoint and the lyrics that played would guide me in some sort of direction, and that's what I needed now. Direction.

I turned on the device and did as I had done plenty of times before, hit random pinpoint.

'How do you feel? That is the question. But I forget you don't expect an easy answer.'

Corey Taylor, you just confused the hell out of me. I didn't know how I felt about it. The kiss, being held in his arms... It felt so... so amazing! But what if he turned out to be like HIM? What if he turned out to only want me for my looks?

But, then again, Chris was different. He was warm and real and didn't have the cold, hard attitude of the monster that had murdered my feelings. His arms around me had been gentle, not possesive. Maybe I did want to date him.

I got up again and headed to the sliding door. Rain was still pouring, but I didn't really care. I stepped onto the cold metal of the balcony. Rain splashed onto my face, dripping down my chin and onto my clothes. I was careful as I pushed past the small gate between our balconies.

I could see him sitting on his couch, holding his head in his hands. I tapped on the glass with my knuckle. He looked up, eyes wide. Standing, he rushed to the sliding door and opened it, pulling me inside.

"I am so, so sorry, Jill. I'm an idiot! I should've just- just... Oh god, I'm sorry, Jill!" He stumbled over his words, and I waited for him to give me a place to speak. "Please, please, forgive me! I really don't want to lose you as a friend and, and-"

"Chris," I spoke patiently.

"I'm such an idiot! I'm so sorr-"

"Chris! Give me a chance to talk!" I spoke commandingly. He silenced and looked at me with the eyes of a puppy that knows he's done something wrong. "I know that the kiss was an accident. I forgive you. But I don't want to be friends anym-"

"But Jill-"

"Shut up, and let me finish. I don't want to be friends anymore. I'd kinda like to be... More than just friends." I looked directly up at him, meeting his eyes. He looked shocked. His jaw had dropped open and he was struggling to find words to say. So he didn't have to speak, I stepped closer and wrapped my arms around his torso. He seemed startled by the action for a moment, but quickly hugged back, enveloping me in his warmth.

"You really mean it, Jill?" he breathed softly.

"Yeah, I do."

After pulling away, there was a moment's hesitation before either of us said anything.

"Uh, it's not even six... Do you wanna watch a movie with me at my place?" I spoke, feeling hopeful yet less than confident.

"Of, of course!" He smiled.

We went back to my apartment and I had him sit down on the couch.

"I'm gonna order a pizza, okay? I'm kinda starving." I shrugged sheepishly.

"Let me pay, Jill. It could be like our first date..." He blushed lightly as he trailed off.

I blushed too. "I can pay... But I do like your idea..."

"But I wanna pay for you. Please?" He looked up at me with his puppy dog eyes, begging for my permission. I tried to stand my ground but those eyes...

"Fine..." I mumbled. He smiled. "What kind of pizza do you like?"

"I like supreme."

"Good. Me too. I'll order." I did so and returned to the couch. I was a little hesitant, but I sat close to him, leaning against his side. He accomadated, placing an arm around my shoulders. He seemed cautious but open with me, at least. I felt like I fit there, against his side. I was comfortable.

His phone went off just as the movie started. He quickly checked it and laughed.

"What is it?"

"Leon got teamed up on by Ada and Sheva in paintball." He chuckled. "Guess he lost out since I didn't go."

I smirked. "I guess so." I paused. "But I didn't lose out."

I don't think he could've blushed brighter than after I said that.


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Half way through the movie and part-way through the pizza, I thought of something. Telling the others. I had no freaking clue on how to tell them that Chris and I were, well, together now. It would take some time to become accustom to that on my own, let alone for them to get used to it. "Chris?"

"Hm?"

"How... How do you suppose we're going to tell them?" I was thankful he understood what I meant.

"I... I don't really know, I mean, I barely believe this happened," he answered.

"Me either... We should tell them, but... Do you think we should wait a little while until we're used to the thought?"

"I think that sounds good. Once we've both agreed, we'll tell them."

I nodded, though he couldn't see me and only felt the movement on his shoulder.

I made a vow then, to never, NEVER, compare Chris to HIM. Chris had proved himself much better than HE ever was. And within the first hour too. Chris was worlds away from what HE had been. And I was thankful.


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When I woke up the following morning, it took me a few minutes to remember that I had gotten into a relationship the prior evening. But I smiled at the thought of being with Chris. Hugging him was kinda like hugging a huge teddy bear.

I got up and, after taking a shower, got dressed. I had gotten up a little later than usual. It was nine thirty and I usually got up at eight fourty-five. But it was a Saturday in the second week of October on Fall Break, so life was good. I picked my phone up off the counter to see I had a few missed calls and various text messages. The calls were both from Ada, as well as one of the texts. It read 'Text me when you're awake/not dead'.

The one of the other texts was from Rebecca, questioning how paintball was and telling of some cousin of hers doing something stupid. The last text came from my cousin, Mimi. It said 'Hey, girlie! How's my favorite cousin? I plan on paying you a visit soon, because I know it's your spring break, so tell me when you're free! I haven't seen you in a year, but I have something BIG to show you that I should've about seven months ago.'

Mimi! I quickly replied, telling her I had all week off from school and she could visit whenever she liked. I had some curiousity about what she was going to show me, but I knew it was better to wait with her.
I collapsed on my couch and stared up at the ceiling. I had small, glow-in-the-dark stars stickytacked there in different constellations. I did the zodiac symbols across the expanse. It looked nice when it was dark out.

My phone began to ring, blasting out Five Finger Death Punch's Under and Over it.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hey, Jill. It's me, Ada. Feeling better?"

"Much. How was paintball?" I asked.

She laughed. "Sheva and I kicked Leon's ass. I'll have to send you a picture."

"Oh, yeah, Chris told me about that. I wish I had been there!"

"We'll have to- wait, when did you see Chris?"

"Last night, why?"

"Well, Chris texted us that he wasn't gonna make it and I thought it was because he didn't have a way to get there," she reasoned.

"I offered him my car, but he stayed. He was basically making sure I didn't get worse. I got really bad yesterday."

There was silence on the other end. "You're okay now, right?"

"Yeah. Fine. And I've got a full bottle of ibeprofen if I get another headache like yesterday's."

"Good. Tell him he did good then, if you're better."

"Kay."

I heard something in the background on her side of the call. Suddenly, she was speaking to someone else. "Ah! Put me down! Dammit, Leo- I'm trying to talk to Jill!"

"I'm assuming that Leon just showed up?" I laughed.

"Yeah. I gotta go," she chuckled.

"Bye. Talk to you later."

"Good bye."

I hung up.

Now finding myself bored, I got Adam out of his tank and went out onto the balcony. It was warm today, proving that autumn wouldn't win out over the winter. Living down south was okay, but I still hadn't seen snow. Something I definately wanted to do someday. But the climate in Raccoon City was nice enough. Adam wound through my fingers and up my arm, the little piece of his tail that had been broken and healed wrong twitching over my palm last. I sat down with my feet hanging off the balcony, Adam pressing himself on the back of my neck.